I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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