I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
