So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
