Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
