Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
