Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
