She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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