White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
