Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
