i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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