SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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