Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
there is glitter all over my balls
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
