Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
