We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
