It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
