remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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