So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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