TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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