Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
