There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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