idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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