he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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