New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
