i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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