Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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