i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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