Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i barfeds in our rink
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
