Since when is my name a synonym for head?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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