nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
