I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
