Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
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