I wish I could teleport
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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