All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I look better un-naked...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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