The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
