***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
