Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
