have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
