Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
