Whod you bang
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
