You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
it's like heaven, but drunker
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
