i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
well you can't waste a boner
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
