but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
