I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
