Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
