i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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