look no pants
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
