I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
not ubering you a puppy
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
