i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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