She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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