I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
