My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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