Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
