Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize