I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
