LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
