I must be too annoying 4 u.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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